Last-Minute Presents

Photo: Getty Images

CRISIS TIME: Christmas is literally around the corner, and you haven’t got any presents or any money to buy said presents. Fear not. With these handy suggestions you’ll have no problem pleasing your loved ones. 

It’s a situation we’re all very familiar with: your mother has been preparing for Christmas day for months and has a present for everyone in your family, and even the neighbour down the road. And what do you have? Diddly-squat, it is already the 24th and you have no idea what to get anyone. A quick look at your bank account also confirms your worst fear – you don’t even have enough money to finance any imaginary ideas you might have had. What do you do in this time of crisis? Well, don’t panic! We have got five excellent ideas to please your loved ones for next to nothing! 

1. The All-Rounder: The Voucher or IOU 

Ideal For: Everyone you have forgotten about

It is insane to think about how much you can achieve with just one small piece of paper. Or better said, what you write on that piece of paper. Have a think about what your family may really want and formulate it in a few simple words. You don’t have to travel anywhere, you don’t have to buy any wrapping paper and you don’t even need to spend any money! At least not yet anyway. Here are our suggestions: 

- Take someone out for dinner voucher  
(The challenge here is to then avoid everyone you’ve given this to, including aunts, parents-in-law and others) 

- Agree to go shopping with your girlfriend without complaining voucher 
(Warning! This is something you are really going to have to do) 

- Massage voucher or card for “a year’s worth of massages”
(If you’re good at it, then everyone wins!)

- Breakfast in bed voucher 
(A little bit of early morning effort for a day of good mood bliss)

- Agree to take your girlfriend to the theatre voucher 
(You can always nod off if needed) 

- Personal taxi voucher 
(Agree to drop your girlfriend off and pick her up, and in between you can go wherever you want. Everybody wins!)


2. A Present For The Brave: Striptease 

Ideal for: Your girlfriend, and only your girlfriend

Rent out a sexy costume, buy a can of whipped cream and some strawberries and let your imagination run wild. The worst thing that can happen is she breaks down in a fit of laughter, but at least she enjoyed herself. This is a personal present that she won’t forget.  

No idea how to pull off a good striptease? Thank God for YouTube! 

You know the moves, you just need the rhythm and timing … 


3. The Challenge: A Collage 

Ideal For: Your girlfriend, because she has given you so many over the years, or your parents 

People love the feeling that someone else has put in a lot of effort for them. So take an hour out of your busy schedule, get your child-safe scissors and pritt-stick out of your old pencil case and get to work. Don’t worry about not having too many pics to hand, just go on Facebook and look through your timeline. You’re bound to find plenty of pics and it will also be a reminder of exactly why you should really be paying her more attention! 

A calendar variation may be the best bet for your mum. The next time she complains about you not being home enough, just remind her that she sees you everyday! 


4. Not Cheap, But Good: A Trip 

IDEAL FOR: Siblings, because you can never find them the perfect present 

Don’t worry, you don’t have to trek down to the travel agents and get last-minute flights. You don’t even need to know where you want to go. All you need is something to represent your journey. Order a pizza to tell them your going to Italy together, or a photo of the Eiffel Tower for Paris. It doesn’t matter where you go, it’s all about getting away from the daily routine, and agreeing to spend time with your brothers and sisters, which is a very grand gesture! 

Tip: Buy a local beer to indicate where the trip may take you, they will have fun guessing, and also drinking! 

Yes, we know you’re still thinking about that striptease idea, so here’s another option if you want to get involved, but you’re not too keen on getting too naked


5. Ordinary and genius: Your Time

IDEAL FOR: Parents and grandparents

They are always complaining about how you don’t have time for them. So come home for Christmas a little earlier than usual and don’t just pop by for Christmas dinner. Go Christmas shopping with your grand parents; help your mum with the Christmas decorations. Time is precious, make the most of it with the people that gave you the most valuable present ever: the gift of life. 



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12 2015

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