kayaking

5 Sports for the Lethargic Gentleman

Words: Josh Rakic
Photo: Kvhuegel 

Because sometimes you want to be active without, you know, actually having to move that much 

Becoming a professional athlete - is it really worth it? Let’s assume for a minute that you’re one of the few born with a killer bod and blessed with natural talent. There’s still the physical exertion, extreme diets and daily fitspiration posts on Instagram to keep up with. And even then, you’ve got more chance being flattened by a vending machine than reaching the top echelon of most sports. (Though, ironically, dodging falling vending machines is now a game show in Japan). But is any dream really worth training eight hours a day, six days a week for? If you answered “no”, prepare to get mildly excited. Because we’ve compiled a list of extreme and Olympic sports perfect for you.

Hang Gliding

© Photo: YouTube / Aaron Stanford

Hang gliding

It’s cool as hell and takes more trust and dedication than a good relationship, but being fit isn’t a requirement. In fact, multiple world record-holder Jonny Durand says training is as easy as eating a piece of cake - literally. “Honestly, I only started running training last year because of the Wings for Life World Run. But I’ll be putting my running shoes back on the shelf as soon as that’s done. Flying’s all about upper-body strength and balance and the best way to train for it is to actually fly. It’s the proven best way to build and maintain the muscles you need.” Better yet, weight is an advantage. It allows you to control bigger kites.

Darts, Dart Board

© Photo: Pixabay / vendati

Darts

As the classic saying goes, you can take the darts out of the bar but you can’t take the bar out of darts. So while smoking during professional competition is now frowned upon, a few beers are still well within the rules - pre-game of course. There’s also big prize money to be won nowadays. 

Equestrian

© Photo: Google / Wyatt Equestrian

Equestrian

It’s a pretty simple equation - let the horse do the work for you. Your ancestors did. Prior to the invention of the combustion engine, horses carried out the majority of transport work. These days however, they’re all class. And you could be, too, simply by learning how to pull a few ropes while in the comfort of a heavily padded saddle. Learn to throw a polo stick around and you’re basically royalty waiting to be crowned. 

Lawn Bowling

© Photo: Flickr / Andrew Beeston

Lawn Bowls

An Olympic sport since the 1930s, we toed and froed over including this game of hardened warriors on the list. Afterall, there’s a lot of standing involved. However, having partaken in a match ourselves, we quickly discovered that a rest between each of your four bowls is part and parcel of the game. And walking sticks are allowed for the mobile leaner.  If you’ve got one good knee, at least two fingers and a thumb, then you already have a chance of getting a start in the big leagues.

Rowing

© Photo: Pixabay

Rowing

If ever there has ever been a sport more about perception than power it’s rowing - well, to be specific, the coxswain position. In case you’re unfamiliar, this is the person who sits at the stern of a rowing boat yelling orders at the other four people. It’s the open air equivalent of yelling at the television screen during the cup final, only you’re the trainer. And you’re sitting!

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04 2016 The Red Bulletin

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